Quoteslogy brings Californication Quotes and Sayings for you. This is been quite popular since 2007 to 2014 and it is about a troubled novelist who suffers writer’s block as he moves to California. His bad activities like womanizing, drug abuse and drinking jinxes his relationship with his long-time partner Karen and their daughter Becca.
The Californication TV show had 7 seasons and have been quite amazing in it’s era with many nominations and award-winnings. It has definitely attracted a lot of people to watch it as soon as it is aired on the TV.
There have been many precious sayings and quotes in Californication and today we’re compiling all of them together. You’d love to read these quotes and sayings as you might have watched and loved it so. Scroll down and begin reading the best Californication Quotes and Sayings.
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Amazing Californication Quotes And Sayings:
1 – Let’s do the one where Charlie is still your husband, but he’s upstairs in a wheelchair.
2 – Becca: Do you guys mind if I crash here, do some writing? Maybe have a few people over? Charlie: Whatever you need. I got alcohol, I got pornography, I got Pictionary.
3 – No she’s not right and even if she were you’re her parent. It’s your job to make her feel like she’s wrong.
4 – I’ll always be buzzing around like a gnat, like a well-hung gnat, with a dream.
5 – Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.
6 – Hank: Have you heard from our literary pilgrim? Karen: No, only what she puts up on Instagram. Hank: Oh. What’s Instagram?
7 – Get me a strainer, I’ll clean it up, I’ll make it nice.
8 – Use every chance you get children. Do not deny yourself, follow every instinct. Then sit down and write about it, but do not get up until you expose yourself.
9 – The older I get the clearer it becomes that you two were the best thing to ever happen to an old fool like me.
10 – No matter how beautiful the grounds this place is a zoo and I’m a wild animal.
11 – Hank: We need to sneak some drugs into rehab. Bates: That sounds fun. How can I help?
12 – I’m gonna beat the fuckin’ Bi out of you once and for all woman!
13 – Hank: How’d it go buddy boy? Charlie: I’m sitting in the dark in my underwear Hank, day drinkin’.
14 – You know what they say? Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us even more annoying.
15 – Well listen we don’t need to work this out today Karen, but I would like to pick your brain and I do think you should consider opening yourself up to me sexually. Are you spoken for?
16 – I do like a man who prepares for the worstest.
17 – Hank: Why are you living beyond your means? Charlie: It’s the only way I know how.
18 – Karen: You’re making some questionable choices right now. Becca: Says the queen of questionable choices.
19 – You fucked me in the ass Hank! I swallowed your cum, but worst of all, I swallowed your fucking bullshit. And you can rationalize it all you want by saying you were always honest with me, but it’s still stealing.
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20 – The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.
21 – I look like a fucking FBI agent.
22 – Revenge is a dish best served with my dick.
23 – Karen: And the judge? Did you sleep with the judge too? Hank: No, no, just a little oral and some anal. Its hard to get the robe up.
24 – The only thing I’m guilty of is poor judgment.
25 – Becca: Sometimes I think you wish I stayed some asexual little goth muppet creature forever. Hank: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
26 – I don’t know how we got here, but this is where we are.
27 – That’s what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job’s bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.
28 – Sometimes it’s important to lie to children.
29 – They fucking love you to pieces you dumb shit, we all do. You just have trouble loving yourself.
30 – Movie Karen: Why does he love her so much? I mean what is it about her? Hank: I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever known. I think sometimes you get it right the first time and then it defines your life. It becomes who you are.
31 – Nothing like a sweet little Charlie Runkle coming of age story, to make you wanna stab yourself in the dick.
32 – Ken: How was the party last night? Charlie: Ah well, guys in black leather, the smell of moist ass hair. What’s not to like?
33 – I think you might be more trouble than you look.
34 – She’s the kind of girl a guy meets when he’s too young and he fucks up because there’s too much looting left to do.
35 – To go in through the outdoor is maybe the most beautiful act known to modern man.
36 – Your work is done Dad, I am who I am. I have to make my own mistakes.
37 – Yeah, so, Marilyn Manson is trying to get your daughter and I into a threesome right now.
38 – Masturbation is for the poor, the downtrodden, the silent unf-ckables.
39 – Peggy: I was just telling him I started my period and that my cherry poppin’ daddy needs to earn his red wings. Hank: Oh boy, this planet that you’re from? How far from the sun we talking? Peggy: Excuse fellas, this dirty little girl scout needs to plug herself up. Don’t worry Charlie, I’ll let you pull the string.
40 – Hank: That’s it? You’re just gonna stand by your man? Karen: That’s what I do.
41 – Being a fu-king feminist is not about castrating men you cooky c-nt. It’s about learning to coexist with these dumb f-cks.
42 – Sasha: Once you fucked my mother my vagina pretty much sealed right up. Hank: So you’re like a Barbi now?
43 – Samurai: What the fuck you got against Ryan Seacrest man? Hank: Nothing in particular, the guy just bugs the shit out of me. Samurai: Why? This mother fucker, he works hard, makes millions of dollars and he got a fuckin’ catchphrase which I don’t have and you wanna kill him dead? That’s some harsh shit Moody.
44 – You can’t let the priests have all the fun.
45 – Charlie: Any advice? Lizzie: Just be yourself Charlie. Charlie: And who is that exactly?
46 – Charlie: I never was the p-ssy eater you were. Stu: You should have thought about it Charlie. Compensate for your sh-tty hang time and your serious lack of inches. Charlie: Jesus! F-ck you Stu! Stu: Sorry, just keeping it real.
47 – Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can’t have her. How do you even get up in the morning? Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I’m with her, even when I’m not.
48 – Some crazy bitch tries to kill you, you defend her honor. Your best friend tries to help you, you punch him in the face?
49 – Once you were my future, then you were my misery, now you’re almost my past.
50 – Carrie: It’s just, you fucked me in the ass Hank. Hank: Oh, are we talking metaphorically? Because… Carrie: No, I gave up the butt for you!
51 – That’s the eternal dilemma isn’t it? Home sweet home versus the wild call of the world outside your door.
52 – Well that happened.
53 – I still think you are mean, petty and vindictive, but I’m thinking maybe we should hate f-ck? Get the poison out?
Brilliant Californication Quotes And Saying:
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